It's okay not to tell anyone everything.

23:47


A new academic year calls for some reflections, even though these reflections are about as relevant to academia as these pictures are to this post. My inner teacher is right: the tendency to write run-on/ convoluted sentences is the first bad habit I should kick. And the second bad habit? Definitely veering off-topic even before I start. I think these eight months have taught me quite a bit about life. I've heard this piece of advice about the late-teens/early-twenties: you'll learn lessons about life exponentially, more so than you'll ever learn in the rest of your life. I'm not so sure about how true that is, since I'm still on the rollercoaster. One of the biggest things I've learnt is: It's okay not to tell anyone everything. Although it isn't exclusive to the female gender, but girls tend to share secrets a lot. There is also a propensity to detail every situation to every contour of every participant’s movement, and thoughts, and potential intentions… you know that sort of thing. I used to find comfort in that. The moment I say it out, I lift the burden off my heart. Or at least, I’ll write it down in my diary (which I don’t – not anymore), or I’ll blog it in the nth private blog to create more virtual junk. 


Then I learnt that it’s even more comfortable not to say everything out. I guess it could be that busy schedules in the recent years meant lesser meet-ups with my closer friends, and I’m not too at ease with chatting with acquaintances about deeper topics. Or it could just be that I became more mature, and finally appreciated how silence is golden.


Once, I did something really stupid because I was barely close to understanding this concept (no, it was non-existent in my dictionary then). There was a secret in me, waiting to burst forth to the next person who was going to talk to me. Or rather, the next person whom I've arranged to talk to me. It was a mistake, but it was only in retrospect that I realized it was awfully insensitive and unnecessary.  It wasn't from then on that I learnt; I was slow. It was the months that I interacted with strangers during networking or in university classes that I recognized the need to stop myself from warming up to people quickly and there are things that are really unsuitable to be said, even if it is said with no ill-intentions. On top of that, it’s okay to withdraw certain information to protect other people’s feelings.

Maybe to some people, I've become quieter in terms of self-expression of my feelings and more diplomatic. Maybe with closer friends, and in more private settings, I might revert back to a shadow of my old self. But there’s beauty in not saying everything to anyone at all; there’s a necessity sometimes to bring certain details to the grave in order not to hurt others needlessly. Words can kill, I guess.

Photography by Nikon P7800 of teatime cake delights at Java+, Singapore Marriott Hotel

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