Lessons from 2020 - already.



It's half past 2 in the morning, and I may wake up regretting posting this. It's been years since I jammed writing in this space. I have another space that I hurl whatever brain noise I have at it in writing. But I suppose having an "audience" here calls for some discipline in my writing. I also get to connect with whoever that is still reading, so.. here I am, once again.

It's been 3 months since I came back from my trip (which I may or may not, eventually, slowly, blog about). It's also the beginning of my new fully introverted routine which I am fairly happy about. I definitely love alone time.

During several bouts of my life, I have had not stayed home for a full day for months and months on end, and some parts of me hated it. Life had spun out of my control sometimes, and days on end I lived for someone else, and/or for many people. I prayed for a day I can just stay home and do absolutely n o t h i n g and just be by myself. I relate to Bruno Mars' The Lazy Song very much.

I guess, as with many things, God granted my wish, but in a totally different format I never imagined it would be. It.. came together with a world pandemic. We can't control these circumstances, can we? Specks in the universe, we are. Nevertheless, here we are. I am blessed to be able to "hunker down and wait" without any consequences or misery to my life. In fact, a huge part of me is relieved to have an excuse to finally do anything and everything I want for myself.

Learning to run

I think one topic that really stood out to me is about how people are debating over whether we should hail productivity in this 'period of trying times'. My straight answer is: you do you. And let me do me. Everyone runs at their own pace. One thing I definitely learn this year - is how to run.

I know you must be thinking - who doesn't know how to run?

To be honest, I didn't. I hated running all my life. Ever since we had to take fitness tests, it has been my most dreaded activity. My stamina is terrible because I shun away from fixing it. Post-graduation, I wanted to join the army. I seriously looked into the logistics of joining the army but I realized that running is a daily affair and 'all regulars have to hit a running time...' - I stopped right there and chucked the brochure away.

So during the first week of this year, as part of new year resolutions, I started doing night runs. Before each run, I carefully constructed playlists on my newfound Spotify premium account in order to increase the joy index of my run. I was doing 1km, 2km, consistently every week. After I came back from my trip, I continued the habit.

I downloaded a running tracker app - that's when things took a turn for the worse. I wanted to gain distance and slash timings. Starting to make sprints, I smashed my breathing. I became irrevocably breathless for the run, and cannot possibly recover to properly continue in the same session. These sessions were painful and hardly productive. I would be doing less than 1km and walked the rest of the way.

Pacing is everything.

I learn from mistakes and experience. I understood the word 'pacing', but I never understood the gravity of it. I started to grow into a slower pace, and amazed that I could cover way longer distances - 5km, 6km, without stopping ever. If you were to ask me a year ago if I could do this, I would look at you like you were crazy.


Learning to let go

People and things... they come and go. A cliched saying goes - how life is like a train, people in your life are passengers that board and alight. That's how it goes, right? How much are sentiments worth? At the end of the day, life is but a series of memories. If you could do something to pre-empt bad memories from forming, would you? In any case, I let go of so much in 2019. I was looking forward to restarting fresh this year, but God is a troll, as usual. It's crazy how many forever goodbyes I have had already. Fortunately and unfortunately, every emotion is a muscle that can be trained.

Nothing in my plans veered from my expectations though because my new philosophy is: I hang onto everything and nothing. When nothing bothers you, you are the strongest. I aim to be just that, to be unafraid to let go. Because you had lost so much before, why be afraid of losing again?

Life is but a train, you never know when it's going to switch tracks. Or crash. Why worry about something you cannot control? Embrace unpredictability.

We are a part of this crazy history

What I really wanted to say was, you can be anything you want. Know that time waits for no man. Sure, there's a world pandemic. Shops are closed, everything's nearly a standstill. Know that the world will unquestionably resume. Undoubtedly not the way like before. Did you think that 'pre-COVID' times were stable or changeless? It certainly wasn't. Nothing was ever like it ever was before, and this is simply a bigger change.

Choose a pacing that works for you. Don't ruin your momentum. Keep going. Slow is better than stopping. Keep doing something that helps you move forward in life. Just a little improvement a day will be enough. Because nothing is built overnight, and one day you'll look back seeing that you've come so far. On good days, strive harder.

You can lose anything at any moment. That is a fact. When you are undaunted in the face of uncertainty, you can get ready to respond steadily, rather than giving a knee-jerk reaction. We're all part of this crazy history with a troll as a God, throwing us lessons we don't want but probably need.

What do we do? We thrive in lunacy.

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I share interesting episodes in life revolving around food, lifestyle, travel and inspirational ideas. If you would like to stay in touch, follow me on my Instagram on @amieishungry and Facebook page!

Amie

a travel and food blogger with a constant longing to be somewhere to makes her feel alive ☆ life's an adventure

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