Don't go yet, 2020 - a post on personal lessons & observations.

2020 was horrid for many, many reasons.
People die and suffer; businesses fold and some go bankrupt. 
These things happen before 2020 too.
Some people are 'grateful' for 2020.
Surely that can't sound pleasant to those who suffered a terrible time.
But as always, it's never about others. It's always about you.

It's not about them, it's about you.
People focus so much on themselves, and so little on others. It's not judgmental, it's just the way human nature is. The social interaction we crave for is inherently from the attention and appropriate responses our audience gives. Nobody really cares about others. Unless it affects themselves.

It makes me relieved. In a way, go be free and be yourself. Because nobody really fucking cares about you and your lifestyle choices. If any, they might make comments for not more than 3 minutes and forget all about it.

In another way, it's kind of sad because that's how friends are lost. I am keenly observing what's happening in my life now, now that I am in my late 20s. People always say you lose friends as you age. I want to know why.

And to consciously maintain active, healthy, and meaningful friendships in adulthood, you kind of have to do one important thing: be curious about others' lives and ask questions about them. It requires conscious and continuous effort that sometimes get tiring. If it gets tiring, it's also important to question why it gets tiring.

Time takes on a strange essence, and so does memory.
Brain fog accompanies. I am not sure if it's the incessant years of using digital materials. But I realized that people's memories are extremely fallible. It's not about senility nor physical disability. People re-write memories, and every time they think about something, the memory tweaks a little. Or, a lot. 

My memory is bad. That's why I write things down. I Whatsapp-record as much details as possible. If I don't write it down, I am almost certain  to remember it wrongly. I know it because I attempt to recall several memories, and reading back on written records prove that I am extremely far off from reality.

In any case, I have to be very careful of what I wish for. To say that I am not grateful for all the things that have happened would be an ingrate, because life has pretty much given me everything I wished for. Except that they never come in the format I want.

Oh, and something I wished I actively observed before. If someone reminds you of another person (vibes-wise), there is a very high likelihood they are very similar in personality, quirks - and especially the nasties. Trust your instincts and your sixth sense on your judgment on people. I enjoy making small hypotheses and guesses mentally on whether my observations are accurate. I presume it'll be fantastic practice to eventually become a "wise old human" who knows how to read people (and as a function of which, live a better life). I also discovered some people are really acutely hypocritical and fake. It gets to me sometimes, but I distance myself - I suppose it's more of their problem rather than mine.

x

I told myself to take a break this year, and try out anything I really want to, truly listen to my heart and let Fate take the wheels. I can't say that I have ever dreamt of anything better than my life right now.
2020 has been brilliant for me, to be honest.

I still got to travel a lot as compared to most of human civilization in 2020, pre-coronavirus massive outbreak/ lockdowns.

Jan 2020 - Nice, France & surrounding towns
Feb 2020 - Barcelona, Spain
Mar 2020 - Regensburg, Germany / Salzburg & Innsbruck, Austria

Including sitting on a train that came from Venice towards Regensburg at the cusp of the coronavirus infection outbreak in Italy, without a mask. Granted, could have done a lot more travelling in a "normal year" since this was supposed to be my break year. But things will always turn out exactly how it's meant to be.

x amie

Amie

a travel and food blogger with a constant longing to be somewhere to makes her feel alive ☆ life's an adventure

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